Spencer Hockey Club

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Sat, 19th Jan 2019 15:00
Spencer Hockey Club AWP
Spencer Women's 3
Tulse Hill and Dulwich Ladies 3s
  • Daria
  • Myra
Guess who’s back?

Yes. Even quicker than Mel B with a huge tax bill to pay, it’s time for me to make a comeback.

I know what you’re thinking, why on earth would I wait until the coldest 3s game of the season so far to make a reappearance?

Well, what can I say - you don’t choose the thug life, it chooses you (more to follow).

But I hear you ask - yes, yes, but what have you actually been doing?

Having spent almost every winter Saturday for the last 20 years playing hockey, not being able to play was a fairly grim reality.

When September rolled around, I wasn’t at all sure what to do with myself.

On the one hand I wanted to try and cling on to the best bits of Saturday’s.

But I thought it would be weird to still come down to Spencer and try to put on goalie kit in the extremely overcrowded secret changing room, whilst Van der Sleeman reads out sporting quotes to me.

No, it was time to experience the life of the non-sports player.

I was worried.

And I was right to be.

Here is what I’ve learnt.

During Saturday day time you should not go to Sainsbury’s, B&Q, Lidl, Homebase, Wickes, Pets at Home or any part of the Purley Way.

There are a lot more people than you think who don’t know how to use the tube. They all get it on a Saturday.

It might seem like a nice idea to go to Ikea, have some meatballs and look for a new bathroom cabinet. It is not a nice idea.

There are a lot more awful people than you think. If they aren’t already on the tube, they all get trains to nice places in and around South West London on Saturdays.

It is exceedingly pleasant to go brunching and antiquing. But you might spend a large amount of money on a dressing table. It might be that said dressing table gets taken over by Marmalade the cat as an evening nap destination.

And so, in a break from my new Saturday regime, I wrapped myself up in the vast majority of my wardrobe to come down and see the mighty 3s.

And what of the game, I hear you cry.

It was cold. Very cold.

Much has changed - a large section of the team is now so young they’ll have no idea what a Sony Walkman is, and for some reason (not a good one) Becca seems to have started dressing identically to Gracie.

But whilst much has changed, much was reassuringly similar – some cracking hockey was on display and Gracie is still dressing like an extra in a Netflix original teen 'comedy'.

Just to be clear, nobody chooses the thug wife. Nobody.


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