Spencer Hockey Club

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Match report

Sat, 8th Dec 2018 10:00
Thames Ditton Clubhouse
Old Cranleighans Ladies 1
Spencer Women's 3
Well here it is. The match report you've all been waiting for.

Why the F*** is it 4 months late though, I hear your say.

I had always intended to write it in January - just before the first league game - to act as pre-match inspiration of sorts. But then I had a better idea...

You'd have been forgiven for thinking - well, she's literally just launched her own company and the stress of that is clearly taking it's toll. We'll give her a break.

You might also let me off the hook now, for finding out I had another human being growing inside me about the same time which has meant I've either been feeling sick, being sick, crying or asleep for the last 3 months. And all the while, struggling to find more tat to peddle on Ebay.

But you'd be wrong.

The reason I'm only posting this match report now is very apparent if you look at the one written by Claire, or the fact that Tegan has only written one of her required three.

The lengths people will go to to avoid winning DOD vary. Tegan clearly did nothing. Nat always connived to throw someone else under the bus. And Claire decided it was necessary to quit hockey altogether.

I did consider this (especially given potential excuse no.2) however I realised that hockey was the only time I spoke to anyone all week, and if the little human being inside me didn't like it, we probably weren't going to be well suited anyway.

And then it came to me. I no longer needed to watch my mouth before games for fear of the dreaded DOD vote because I had an unwritten match report up my sleeve.

The 3s are very proud of their (totally unrecognised) record of being the only team to consistently produce a match report. It's also something they're viciously keen to uphold which made stringing this out quite pleasurable for me.

But write it, I must.

Needless to say I remember nothing from the game, though I've looked up the result and it seems we lost 3-0 to OC's who, I can say with much more certainty, wouldn't have deserved it.

Much more important, of course, was the Christmas Party where, dressed as my favourite Spencer past-time, I'm certain we fully deserved our victory.

Thanks for another fab season everyone.

I wrote the above a few weeks ago so here's a little P.S. We've just returned from hospital and can confirm that a new W3 or Hurricane will be joining the ranks at about the same time as next season's first league match.

Time to make some cool baby hockey kits...


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