Spencer Hockey Club

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Match report

Sun, 10th Mar 2013 12:00
Hampstead and Westminster Mixed
Spencer Mixed
I get a lot of hockey emails. I’ll have to check with him, but I’m pretty sure even more than the number of hoes that Ludacris has in different area codes.

This game in particular generated a lot of emails. Which, as much as anything, solidified in my mind the fact that Hampstead and Westminster players are really an entirely different kind of beast to Spencer players.

Long before they had even presented us with pre-sugared tea (I don’t even drink tea and this seems barbaric) their captain had proudly told me she’d opted for a late fixture as she enjoys lie-ins.

The game was at 12pm.

The situation was compounded further when I explained to her that we might have to concede the game as we only had four players on Friday morning. She suggested if we did concede that these players might like to come along for a friendly.

She wasn’t joking.

Anyway, thanks to rallying calls and some pretty epic commitment 14 plus team manager Chewy made the trip to Hampstead and Westminster.

If you aren’t familiar with Hampstead and Westminster’s location they are based in a small town in France. You can make the return trip in a day, but it’s ambitious. A return trip from Brixton for example requires a bus, walking, three trains, two tubes, a taxi and a half an hour drive. You need to allow at least six hours.

On an average day the journey alone would have been exhausting. This was no ordinary day.

After the new Spencer song was sung (I don’t want to be here, I really really don’t want to be here, I wish I hadn’t had that last beer etc.) we agreed amongst ourselves that we’d ask for the misery to end if we were down by double figures at half time.

Somehow we weren’t. Actually we held them at one all for a while and for a bit it felt like we might have some chance of winning.

We didn’t, but given half the team saw lights up in the Wessex, Lucy had to ask where she’d been from dinner onwards and Alice looked like she could be sick at any moment, it was an extremely impressive effort.

Thankfully Chewy came along to run the bench. Well actually he was mostly on the phone to his mum looking cold. The umpire pointed out if he’d thought warm thoughts he’d have been ok.

You might think that given the circumstances that journey chat would be quite low quality. To do so would be massively underestimating the quality of the average Spencer mind.

Because we had the whole journey back from France to occupy we managed to get through naming the London boroughs, stations beginning and ending in the same letter, tube stations with all the vowels in and rugby playing brothers. We are all now also experts on the McDonalds empire.
Subsequently if you need to know anything about the London Underground system or McDonalds in the UK and Northern Ireland* then the mixed team can assist.
*sadly this does not extend to the Republic of Ireland.

Although you will have to specifically talk to Chewy if you need to know which stations you can get between by either going north or south. Even in the cold light of day nobody knows what he was talking about.

Massive hats off to everyone that fought through epic hangovers to help us get a team out. The team took in players from L1, L2, L3, M1, M2, M3, M4 and M6 teams.
Aspden, Balbirnie, Chew, Collison, Dewer, Gilbertson, Gittins, Harvey, Johnsen, Matthew, Oliver, Rawlinson, Slinn, Tilson, Walker - your club salutes you. Unforgettable times.

Right, I’m off to get myself some hoes in different area codes.

Comments (2)

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Tim's avatar


Tuesday, 12 March 2013

You sound like a bell-end

Ruth's avatar

Ruth Matthew

Tuesday, 12 March 2013

Thanks Tim

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